Postcards for John
A one-sided conversation with that guy you can't seem to communicate with.
30 November 2015
Imagined affection
You come in and out of my life like it’s just a game.
Was any of it real?
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21 November 2015
Let me make you happy this way
I used to send you photos I’ve taken of myself.
It was my way of connecting with you even when we’re not together.
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20 November 2015
Photos
Printed out two photos today.
It’s my way of keeping memories of you.
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Bad day
I had another misunderstanding with my mom earlier today.
I wish you’re really here to make me feel a little better.
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19 November 2015
Dirty
As I was cleaning the cage of my dog earlier today, a thought came to mind.
With my hands deep in dog shit and years of muck, I couldn’t help but wonder:
do you deserve someone who does something like that?
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18 November 2015
Make believe
As I go about the work around the house, I imagine I'm doing it to the house you'll come home to.
Do you think it's crazy?
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16 November 2015
You make me smile
Do you know that each time I hear from you, you fill me with such hope for life?
You make me smile.
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15 November 2015
Yearning
An image came to me a few nights ago that represents how I feel about you.
I was curled up, with my head resting on your chest, in your arms. Cocooned in the warmth, enveloped in your scent.
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09 November 2015
Waiting game
Will it always be like this?
If I adjust to how you want things to go, how you pace things, will this relationship go smoother?
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07 November 2015
Changes: Moving forward
Venturing into a few changes starting tomorrow.
Kicking a nasty habit and sorting out a few things on how I go about each day.
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06 November 2015
Next week
I heard from you today.
Seems like it’s not over after all.
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05 November 2015
Wasted time
I wonder — did I just waste the last 2 years of my life?
I was on an upward trend. Now, I’m at an inferior state than when I first started.
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Today's anger
Then there was this sudden urge to lash out.
I’m angry.
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04 November 2015
Silence. It's over.
The silence can only mean one thing for me — it’s over.
There is no point talking when it is, right?
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02 November 2015
Heartbreak and goodbyes
My heart breaks each time I think of what's happening to us.
I feel a crippling hopelessness.
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